I am not my hair.. the finale

I Am Not My Hair

I was seven years old when I got my first relaxer. I remember the day before, standing in front of the mirror pulling on the loose strands around my ponytails and watching them bounce back tight and fast. I have three older sisters and a white best friend, her name was Katy, and they all have long, straight hair. When I asked my grandma why my hair wasn’t like theirs she replied, “Child, cause Shae nem got a perm and you got nigger hair. Honey you ain’t white like Katy.” I didn’t really know exactly what that meant, but I knew it wasn’t “good hair”. I didn’t have a choice in the matter of relaxing my hair then.  I watched her open the box of Just For Me and about an hour later, I pulled that strand and it didn’t bounce anymore. My ponytails swung everywhere with every movement I made, longer than I’d ever seen them before. I let out a sigh, a breath of relief- my grandma wasn’t calling my hair “nigger hair” anymore. Why not though? After all it is just hair right?

            It is twelve years later, and I now have a choice in the matter. I Am Not My Hair, so I am going natural. That’s right you heard me loud and clear. I have a choice to make this lifestyle change that will make old routines null and void and force me to shape another way of presenting myself. It makes me limitless, flexible, it makes me natural because it makes me… me. It was always “my house my rules” where I lived, so even in high school I had limited input on what I did with my hair. It was always, “Here, go down to the shop and get this done- Don’t you dare cut your hair that short- Don’t color your hair that color! What’s wrong with you?” Oh please, let it go.

It is because of people like that that I am going natural. No, I’m not some freaky activist or a member of some organization determined to take out some hair manufacturing company. This isn’t some 21^st century Black Panther hair movement. We who are in transition just want our hair and our lives back. We want back what most of us had taken from us when we were younger because nobody appreciates what we’re born with anymore. You deprived us of this appreciation because it’s something you didn’t value and you never quite gave us the chance to pick a side. I’m not following a trend, I’m following an instinct. It just so happens that at this point a lot of women are having the same instinct as I am. We’re not followers, we’re becoming leaders. We’re leading you to feel pretty in whatever form you see fit.  As a matter of fact if you don’t want to feel pretty at all we’re cool with that too. If you want long, straight hair, go for it, but don’t knock us for thinking it’s overrated. Long hair does not make pretty hair, and pretty hair does not necessarily mean pretty people.

            You can insinuate that I won’t look as professional as you, go ahead, we’ll just shoot it down. Just because it took you $200.00 and three hours in a chair to pull your look together as opposed to my splash of water and a hair accessory does not make you the better candidate. You think our hair is unruly; we find your disgust at what you once had amusing. After all, you did have to start somewhere, or has that perm fried too far down into your brain? What I have in my head is not reflected by the strands that grow out of it. I’m working just as hard as you, curly hair and all. I stay up all night making sure the numbers are crunched; the paperwork is finished, and still manage to leave an apple on our bosses’ desks and a smile on our client’s faces. We are no different than you. I know the media has standardized beauty so you look at us as awkward because we’re different than what you see on TV, but I promise the only difference is in the choices behind this life we live.

How about we break the divide now and call it a truce, and let’s respect the natural hair. No more “nigger hair”, no more sideways looks when we walk in the shop for a trim and wash, it’s just hair. It doesn’t make me pretty. It doesn’t make me superior to you, and it doesn’t make me inferior to you. Can we accept the fact that we are not our hair and just move on? Relaxed and natural alike we are who we are and nothing can change that but ourselves. Just to think, in nine more months or so, I’ll be able to pull that strand of hair and watch it bounce like it used to when I was a child. Only this time I won’t think it’s unnatural and this time I won’t mind it making me look different, because I am different. And despite my hair and what you think about it, I’m going to make a difference. I won’t let my hair define me, because in this life it matters to me who I am while I’m here- and I damn sure won’t be my hair.

Sick!!

Hi guys!! Trying to get something down for today seeing as I haven't blogged in a few days and it feel like this semester is running from me!! I keep getting in such a shock that we are at midterm pretty much and we're almost done with our freshman year. Today I actually don't feel good. I don't know what exactly is wrong, but I want to take this oppurtunity to say don't stress yourself sick like I probably have. And you know take a second to evaluate what you're eating. I mean I understand our ridiculous meal plan forces us to eat around campus and realistically there aren't very many healthy dining options but we have millions of calories offered to us everyday here. Just you know take a second to do a few push ups or sit ups or something you know. Don't obsess about it but try to stay healthy, you'll miss fewer classes I guarantee you. uu.. GOod luck on your papers and I hope all is well.

{blah!}

OK. so clearly judging by the blogs I'm not the only one totally burnt out on school right now. I'm so tired and it's not like a sleepy tired. I get plenty of sleep and I take naps. But I'm just itching for a break.  I don't have any spring break plans. I really hope I'll be working by Spring Break actually. I just have a lot of personal issues going on right now and they are all like.. ridiculous. like just go away. I'm done with my paper essentially I'm about to do another sweep through for errors and what not but I'm glad that's over. I also checked the policy guide a second ago and realised I need to sync all my work for our final portfolio so I can get credit for all my work. I have some assignments on my laptop and some just on a jump drive. I'm going home to syn it so I'll have one on the jump drive and one on my laptop. I suggest you guys get that started and collected up so the final portfolio won't be so stressful. Uuhm. Good luck to everybody, I hope your papers rock, and War Eagle.

"perfect, perfect, perfect!" (v. not adj.)

Well today I worked on perfecting the grammatics of my paper. I saw a lot of pink in my last paper, and that stood for the weird wording and arrangement type problem. So I went through my notes I write on my assignment sheets and in my notebook and I went through my paper to find more clear ways to word things. I found a few things that needed to be simply switched around and I made sure that I still had that same kick in it that it had when I read it in my conference. I went to the purdue owl online and cross checked my MLA format for my paper to try to minimize on my paper formatting errors. I saw on the syllabus that the heading should not be in the "header" and  it is NOT double spaced; I noticed it was crossed out on my last paper so I corrected that. I went through and found a few grammatical errors. So I think I'll wait til Thursday to take a last run through of if and see if I can find any awkwardness. I'm actually waiting for my friend to get back to the library to read and proofread it again. You know an extra set of eyes always helps. So. . to each his own I guess. I'm in the home stretch right now, just perfecting and polishing, and hoping to have an "A" paper with this one.
Good luck you guys,
War Eagle!!

Peer Review/ Conference

My peer reviewers went overall well, I looked at your feedback and you guys and Mary both pointed out the same thing. I was really excited when she said she liked my paper. I was extremely happy. All I need is a few minor changes and to check the grammatics of it all. I'm so happy that I did not procrastinate on this paper- not that I procrastinated on my last paper- but I really feel like it's progress from the last paper. Which is good because we're expected to progress by Mrs. Pavletic, and I just expect to progress personally. I made an 80 on my last paper, not too shabby, but once I looked over it I totally understood where she was coming from and I saw what mistakes I made basically in just proofreading sentences in between revisions so that you don't leave a sentence in from a concept that you wanted to remove. I'm definitely going to be on the lookout for that. The only way to go from here is up, so I leave you guys with this and just make sure you get an outside reader to look at your paper, even if it's a total stranger- it's actually even better cause maybe they won't care about hurting your feelings. Good luck you guys!

uh oh.. forgot about the structure >_

I know I told you guys how much I love, love, love my manifesto- but I was brought to a slight halt today in class when Mrs. Pavletic gave us the structure of the paper. Mine is similar to that I think, but I don't think I exactly nailed the structure down completely. So now I'm about to have to go back through and edit and move and possibly shift things to meet those requirements. Don't forget about the little details like that guys, make sure you keep that in mind. It's a real pain in the butt to have to go back. I'll probably be at every office hour session next week to make sure I get as much feedback as possible. I suggest you guys do the same. Good luck! War Eagle!

I love my manifesto!!

So I used the text and I really focused on my manifesto last night and I absolutely love it. I think it's creative and personal and I think it really shines light on how I feel. Im really excited for Monday to get the peer review done and to see what everybody thinks about it. Plus I want to see my last paper but... hey whatever.. no pressure. I read my before and after paper, and I got someone from outside to read it and they wholly agreed it was much better and much more me and more focused. I'm really glad I looked at the textbook for goodness sake that's what's it's here for. I really really can't wait til you guys get a hold of it. Just to see your honest opinions, and please be honest. I may only like it because it's a major upgrade from the garbage I originally typed, but it's cool, tell me that. it's anonymous. lol. But really.. Once again.. good luck. War Eagle!! Have a fun, safe weekend!

Use the text!!

If you cant tell by my title of this blog I'm going to suggest you guys use your textbooks! When I read the introduction and conclusion assignment I randomly got a surge of ideas in midclass. Just because my original introduction employed one of the techniques mentioned in the text, but I just wanted to perfect it and make it an even better more focused story to lean into. I really think it's good at this point. I'm going to write a seperate paper  of the ideas I came up with in class today and get somebody else to read it and see which one makes up the better paper. I honestly have my heart set on the second introduction so I hope they don't shoot it down. But guys, there is some really awesome information in the textbook so USE IT! you paid for it anyway right?

just another free write.

So right now I"m in government not really paying attention, but I'm thinking about my manifesto. It's cool though, the class is pretty easy. Thanks to everyone who thinks my manifesto is pretty solid. But i still ran into quite a few writers blocks yesterday. I keep asking rhetorical questions in my manifesto and I'm trying to avoid that. But it's really hard. I think it's from me watching those videos. I think what I'm going to do is start off asking a few rhetorical questions related to the issue I'm promoting and then use the rest of my paper to pretty much answer and put forth my beliefs. I think that's a pretty good format. Class is out at 10:45.. so I'm pre-prewriting actually because i'm going to have to do another free write to get started on my paper later on tonight. Good luck you guys.

FOCUS

OK. I'll be the first to admit that I forgot about the change in the assignment last weekend but it's okay.. There's still hope! I'm trying to bring the focus of my paper down even more narrow so I can actually type something that I don't think is pure bull crap right now. I'm sure the whole thing I wrote Friday was pure crap. It's really all over the place. I'm sitting here with a loud ssticky note on my screen that says FOCUS with smaller notes with topics to touch on. TRY that technique I swear it works whether you're tempted to  check your TL on facebook or twitter, or you just don't remember what you're talking about in your paper. So right now I'm doing the infamous free write!! I swear I'm going to get back to some juicy stuff as soon as the wheels get churning fast enough. So I've narrowed my topic down to "going natural" pretty much. Some ideas i have as far as what to talk about is explaining it as a way of life that varies based on the individual. Some females feel that going natural means no relaxers and chemicals dyes, no makeup the whole nine yards, while some feel like no relaxer- but hair dye is cool and they still wear make up or some form of organic makeup.
It's really weird actually.
Another think I'm thinking of talking about is when I started getting relaxers- totally not my own choice- and what made me decide to switch; What natural is for me and what I hope to gain from going natural- and what I want people who don't favor the natural look to know about my decision.. basically I'll tell them in a nice way that their opinions doesn't really matter.. I'm gonna nap it up anyways. But I think I'm ready to go at it again. so good luck and WAR EAGLE!

Free Write

Ok. now I'm starting on my actual paper right now. I'm using this blog as a sort of free write before I start. I'm just coming up with some ideas as far as what exactly to say. I know I want to touch on the divide of natural hair vs. relaxed hair, because people make it like it's a standard of beauty to be one or the other. when in reality- you're beautiful no matter what. It doesn't matter what you do with your hair, it's a material thing in a way. I know hair is extremely expensive- Remy brand and just the process of getting it done is so time consuming and whatnot. I feel like people should look beyond the hair and outer appearance of people before tey judge them. For instance,  every interview you go into you are being judged on your appearance, the upkeep of your hair is indicative of your cleanliness and hygiene in a way. The guy with the straggly beard and long hair may be the best for the job but he looks unprofessional as opposed to the guy with the clean line up and short cut.
Just like if a girl walked into an office with a wild funky pink mohawk or an untamed fro- people look at them differently. Let our hair express the voice within not scare you away from us or give you the grounds to pass judgement.
I think I'm loose enough to start writing now. So good luck with your papers you guys!

"Who's tryna be white?"

Okay.. back to the story right? This all started pretty much with Madame C. J. Walker.. who began making products for black hair, in order to get it into a manageable and healthy state. However, it was taken as she wanted it to be seen as black women could have hair just as good as white women. . But what does it matter really? Hair is just hair right? WRONG.. not today.. We have advertisements all around us that make straight long hair the standard of beauty, while our natural hair, hair color, etc. is accepted as flaw. I watched a documentary by Chris Rock on hair, he basically travelled around the world from beauty shop to barber shops and even all the way to India, where their hair given away so selflessly for religious purposes, is worth more than GOLD!! can you believe it? there is a scene where a man tries to sell a hair buyer Indian hair and he wants to pay top dollar, but when presented with African hair- he is like this is just worthless. This is ridiculous.
But with the airing of this documentary- the battle of relaxed vs. natural goes rabid!  these women feel like "I can't do natural it's not for me". or those that are natural feel like women who wear relaxers are disowning their heritage and being "slaves to the white man standards of beauty". How many white women do you see trying to get their hair done like a black woman?-- go ahead.. EXACTLY- but how many black women do you see down their hair and call it (excuse my language) "nigger hair" because it isn't soft, smooth, long, etc. so they cover it up with someone else's hair. And you would think that white people would make the most money off of this.. WRONG! the Asians do- go figure.. O_o?
 I hear so many girls who experience the "big chop" ( the process in going natural when after about six months or more of no relaxer you chop all remaining relaxer off your hair resulting in an afro of some sort.) say they felt released from a hair prison. What does that even mean?
My motive for going natural stemmed from research on the products that I was using to maintain my straight hair. The chemicals in a relaxer are so strong and so damaging I just cant bear to use it anymore. I want this for the sake of healthy hair.. not because I feel like I'm a slave in any way form or fashion. I will just have stronger, more versatile, hair. That doesn't mean I will never wear a weave again in my life. It just means I want versatile healthier hair to go with a new way of life and reflect my personality that differs day to day. simple as that. Is that too much to ask?

I'll try to give  yall some pics relating to what I post daily.. here are a few advertisements that I've seen that can reflect back to this post..

MANIFESTO: I AM NOT MY HAIR

Hello fellow classsmates and readers!
If you haven't noticed the excessive amount of melanocytes in my skin, I am an African American. (humor) I recently decided to do my manifesto for unit two on my beliefs on the rapidly rising issue of hair equaling beauty, and long hair vs. short hair and natural hair vs. relaxed hair in the black community. It's becoming something so controversial and it's in a sense tearing the black community in a divide. (how typical) but it's an issue that I'm now currently identifying with as I decided to transition after my last relaxer in November. It's been 3 months and I've never felt so controversial about such a topic. You would think it's really simple but hair has been such a major source of "beauty" amongst us that we don't typically understand what type of connection we've created with the two that makes it impossible for us to part with it.
Just last weekend my guy friend asked me to cut his dreads off, for his own personal reasons. He started the task himself and wasn't able to finish after cutting like 6 dreads, and it was a shock to me and him as well. So I cut them off and his reaction was out of this world, he felt like he wouldn't be accepted, no one would think he was handsome anymore and it made me think.. I have go to talk about this because even though it's common among women, it affects men too.
Follow this!! it'll be really interesting I swear! I'll tell you where it all started!!

Peace, Love, and remember you are not your hair!!

introduction

Hi my name is Alethia Russell! I'm a freshman here at Auburn University and my major is communications. I'm from Gadsden, Al and I like Ramen noodles, fried chicken, and cornbread!! Enjoy!